Embrace Self-Love: Unlocking the Power of Self-Compassion in 5 Simple Steps

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Self-criticism makes you feel small and weak when you don’t need to be. These steps will quickly pull you out of the endless diarrhea – it’s about time.

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Marinate endlessly in toxic self-criticism

No one likes a braggart, but should we marinate ourselves in self-criticism?

No – not a good plan.

Yet we do it on a massive scale – I participate in it myself.

I am regularly unnecessarily critical of myself, and many people around me struggle with it too.

Perfectionism, comparing yourself to others, parents who were hard to please, experiences of public failure, low self-esteem – there are countless reasons why people experience self-criticism.

Self-criticism makes you small, weak and miserable . It damages your self-confidence and thus your quality of life on a deep level.

But you know what’s fun? The solution is already packed in the word. Self-criticism comes from ourselves. And so we have the opportunity to do something about it ourselves.

Pretty nice.

There are all kinds of steps we can take to reduce self-criticism. Below I share 5 steps that are particularly effective , require little effort and also work quickly.

It’s a dirty story. Let’s see.

1. Observe the diarrhea

Yes – I see self-criticism as a constant flow of diarrhoea.

It stinks, it gets stuck in everything, it’s a hassle to clean up and nobody really wants it.

But as with so many things in life: you get used to everything .

If you function every day between that misery, you don’t even notice it anymore. But as soon as you take a fresh look at it, you realize with horror the situation you’ve ended up in .

And what do you do then?

Exactly – then you will take steps to change something about it.

The first step is simply to observe your self-criticism:

  • You don’t have to change anything.
  • You don’t have to run away from it.
  • You don’t have to spice it up.

No – just observe. That’s all.

  1. You can jot down self-criticism as soon as it comes along. For example in your notes app on your smartphone. Jot down that poisonous thought, and go about your day.
  2. You can mentally notice self-criticism when it passes. For example, label such a miserable thought as “self-criticism” and go about your business.
  3. You can get rid of all self-criticism by writing it all down in a journal. Take ten minutes to put all that diarrhea on paper – it’s a great relief.

Try noticing self-criticism throughout your day . It often won’t work, but just do it when you think about it. You don’t have to observe all the self-criticism, a little is good enough.

By consciously noticing self-criticism you will automatically bring about change.

Not because you suddenly have all the answers, but simply because no one of their own free will remains in such a miserable situation .

2. Let it be quiet

The less effort something takes, the more likely you are to actually do it.

That’s why I say don’t do anything now . Let that self-criticism be there and notice it. That’s all.

Give it some time and observe what is happening in your head . The more self-criticism you observe, the less seriously you begin to take it. You start to see that you’re just playing a boring tape that keeps shouting the same things:

  • “You can’t do this.”
  • “You’re not good enough.”
  • “You’re not pretty enough.”
  • “You are too stupid.”
  • Etc.

It can sometimes help to visualize that critical voice as a childish troll .

That troll is looking for comfort and security, so he tries to keep you down by convincing you that you should n’t do anything that challenges you.

Fine and logical. But we’re not going to let a grumpy troll determine the direction of this wonderful life – are we?

No – better not.

Just let that troll chat and you can enjoy your day in the meantime.

3. Make room for something better

Do you have something like: “doing nothing doesn’t sound good enough” ? Then there is something you can do: shift your attention .

Where to? To aspects of yourself that you value.

Focus your attention on:

  • Things you accomplished today (no matter how small);
  • Properties of yourself that you like;
  • Aspects of your body that you like;
  • Moments when you have overcome something;
  • The precious people who love you despite all the negative beliefs you have about yourself;
  • Other positive aspects of your day.

Often when I’m working on a bigger project (like a new course), I suddenly feel insecure. The troll knows how to tell me that I am a worthless writer and that no one cares about what I have to say.

When I experience that, I leaf through old articles and read the sweet reactions of readers. It helps me to establish that my work is going to make someone happy, and that I can continue to challenge myself.

It helps me establish that there really is something wrong with my skills, and that I was fooled by that troll again.

Everything that gives you attention grows – and that self-criticism does not deserve your attention.

Focus on the nice, positive sides of yourself. It helps you move to a place of less misery and more joy.

4. Lovingly let yourself slip

Diarrhea can be slippery.

Even if you walk carefully, you will occasionally fall. Not nice, but nothing you can do about it.

Even with all the good intentions in the world, you will find yourself caught up in a downward spiral of self-criticism from time to time . You are not waiting for it but you can wait for it to happen.

What to do?

There’s one thing you don’t want to do: feel sorry for yourself that you failed to practice self-love again . That sounds logical but it is the most common reaction:

We’re trying to solve the problem with more diarrhea, when you just slipped into it.

It just makes the story dirtier and I think we’ve both had enough of this metaphor now – so let’s get smarter:

Self-compassion.

We change the internal dialogue of the troll who shouts, “You never learn! AWFUL! You’re a loser! Everyone is better at this than you. You’re worthless. You can’t do anything! Ugh, I can’t see you anymore!”

To (voiced by Mary Poppins): “Oops slipped in the diarrhea, that’s not nice. Can happen. Come on, I’ll run a bath for you. Yes, I’m going to throw in the whole bottle because you do smell a little – but I love you anyway. Just lie back and I’ll go mop up with a few bottles of bleach and burn your clothes.”

Feels better, right?

5. Don’t be in a hurry, just pay attention

You usually don’t turn around a life full of self-criticism in one afternoon.

But you know what? We are in no hurry. As soon as you start with the first step, you can also effortlessly defuse most self-criticism .

It is special how more attention – more mindfulness – immediately makes the situation milder.

It helps you see that you are experiencing self-criticism and are not those thoughts – let alone that those thoughts are true.

More awareness leads to more self-compassion and self-love. Slowly but surely it’s getting quieter up there. And before you know it you’ll be making friends at a get-together where you don’t know anyone, or you’ll be taking on tasks you normally couldn’t take on due to self-sabotage.

You feel more confident, stronger, more powerful – happier!

That troll isn’t going anywhere, but you’re getting better and better at approaching him with patience and understanding.

Living with self love lives a lot better

So the message is simple: be kind to yourself .

There is only one you. You are unique and you are good just the way you are. Don’t put yourself down, rather get yourself up.

Not only does that live a lot better – from that position you can also reach out to others and help them take the same step.

Increasing self-love is your most important step towards a more loving world .

It makes everything better, so dare to take it seriously. Let go of that self-criticism and rather marinate yourself in self-compassion – works much better. 💛

Are you ready to get started right away? Go AHEAD !!

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OVERCOME LAZINESS AND DO YOUR WORK

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How To Avoid Laziness At Work - Work It Daily | Where Careers Go ...

Laziness isn’t a natural habit for everyone; some of us have an intense zeal to work ethics, while others feel idle always and find it challenging to overcome laziness. Laziness can be caused by a lack of knowledge of the task at hand, procrastination, feeling too comfortable to have the job done, and lack of motivation to get started.

Whatever the reason might be, if laziness intrudes on your daily work output or makes you unconcerned about your duty, it’s going to cost you a lot. The only solution is learning to overcome laziness so that you can be a better person.

If you’ve finally decided to get rid of laziness, here are eight fantastic ways to begin:

Find Your Motivation.

Lack of motivation is the fundamental cause of laziness. Procrastination sets in when we can’t find a good reason to perform the task at hand, and this, is the reason we need the motivation to be productive in our daily roles.

Making a list of what motivates us is essential to gain extra push when needed. It allows you to see yourself at the end of the finished task and think of the rewards attached, which strikes the mind to get started on the job. It is also crucial to keep the goals in mind, as this is the most efficient motivation.

Create a To-Do List.

Accomplishing tasks one after the other makes a work looks in order and helps you work smoothly.
Moreover, having a to-do list helps to work orderly and prevent multitasking. Although some people are skilled in multitasking while others can’t, that is why it is necessary to know what you can handle, your abilities.

Take a step at a time while performing a role; it would prevent being overwhelmed and help overcome laziness.

Make Your Work Environment Interesting.

Your environment and the people around you play a significant role in overcoming laziness. It is of great importance to surround yourself with people you share the same interests within the tasks at hand, as their motivation, creativity, and enthusiasm trigger you to complete your job.

More so, ensure that your space and work area provides you with all the necessary attributes to work well.

Always Look for Positive Examples.

Generally, in life, it is important to have role models and mentors as we look up to them for inspiration. However, to overcome laziness, find successful people and exemplary figures in the same discipline that inspires you. These are people that would put you back on your track anytime you feel lazy and lost.

They are people who push you to continue working no matter the challenges.
Finally, surround yourself with great people, who have been in your discipline and have managed to excel in the same course.

The Effects of Not Completing the Task at Hand

It is essential to be aware of the consequences attached to an incomplete task, as it would trigger our minds to get the job started. If there are no positive reasons to get started with a role, then thinking of the negative effect would undoubtedly help get to work.

For instance, if you have a contract to execute, and you simply lack the motivation to begin, think about the consequences. You may get the contract terminated, and you may also miss the chance of getting other deals to execute, these are serious consequences that would trigger the mind to get started with any task at hand.

Set Some Deadlines.

Having a deadline ticking in mind stimulates the body to get to work. It’s not only about setting a deadline for each task you have to be determined to stick to it. Sticking to your deadline makes you alert and aware of the task at hand.

Make New Habits

To overcome laziness by changing position, get a little exercise during recess, sleep a bit to get the brain and body intact. Begin with the most complicated task first and move to another task. Commit yourself to those tasks, and getting the job done will be easier.

Nothing can be done until you do. You can have all the foolproof tips and tricks in the world, but ultimately nothing changes until you do.

Get Some Exercise

The power physical will help you get rid of laziness. If you are chronically lazy, exercising might not be your thing, but you’ll be amazed at how energetic and refreshed you’ll feel after only 30 minutes of exercise.

So pick a favorite sport, it could be running, walking or other cardiovascular exercises and top it with some fresh air to keep you invigorated for the rest of the day.

THE REGIONAL BLOG AUTHORITY

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