Letting go of control seems almost impossible. How do you let go of control when you’re afraid things will go wrong? How can you let go of what you fear? Still, letting go of control is possible, with the insights in this article.
The more control we want, the more tension we get in return. Because many things can we just can not control.
There are 3 simple questions that hardly anyone asks themselves. When you answer these questions, you automatically let go. And you can apply this to any area of your life.
Letting go gives you relaxation, confidence and inner strength. Let it go!
What can you control – and what not?
We have no control over the future, because no one knows exactly what will happen. We have no control over other people because they just do what they want to do.
If you think carefully, you will see that you cannot control many situations and people. You really only have control over what you do – here and now .
If you can’t change something, you can only accept and let go. This often feels unnatural, because control is part of our system. We have the illusion that we can influence almost everything.
Well, if it were, your life would be absolutely perfect, wouldn’t it?
Then you had already arranged that yourself …
Exercise in letting go – in every area.
You can apply the following exercise in any area of your life. You can practice this every day, in any situation. It does not matter whether it is about letting go of financial worries, relationship problems or worries about the future.
Letting go is the solution to all stress and worries. The essence is always this: too much control creates tension. In any field!
When you try to control something, something controls you too.
When you let go of something, you are free.
The next time you feel tension, ask yourself the following three questions:
Letting go of control – question 1: What am I trying to control?
What is causing my inner turmoil? Do I want a guarantee for the future? Am I trying to determine what someone else should do? Am I concerned with the past? What makes me feel insecure?
Find the core of that tension. What are you trying to control or change? For instance:
1. I regret that I made that choice then.
2. Why did he do it that way?
3. I hope he keeps his promises!
4. She won’t react like that again, will she?
5. I want the assurance that this choice is the best for my future.
6. I hope everything goes well next week.
Then ask yourself the following question:
Letting go of control – question 2: Can I actually control that?
That’s a simple question that most people never ask themselves.
Can you really change this? Do you really influence here? Is this within your control?
There are two options:
a) Yes, you can do something about this. Great – stop worrying and do it!
b) No, you have no influence (anymore) on this. Then you can only accept this and let it go.
Letting go of control – question 3: Am I willing to let it go?
We usually do not get around to this step either. We intellectually understand that we have to let go of something, but we just don’t want or ca n’t.
Why not? Because we still feel too many negative emotions: fear, uncertainty, doubt, regret, frustration, etc.
Yet there is one very good reason to let it go: Because letting go helps yourself . Because you hold with yourself disadvantage . It’s just in your best interest.
And after you make this decision, your emotions automatically start to change. Then your emotions become positive and relaxed again.
Make the decision now:
“Yes, I realize that I am only hurting myself by sticking to what I cannot (anymore) change at the moment. In the interest of my own mental and physical health, I decide to let go of this. I know it will make me feel better. So I am willing to let it go. ”
The final step: Let it go!
Now you have seen what you are trying to control. You have seen that you cannot control it. You know you have to let it go. And you are willing to actually let it go.
Congratulations! Now you are ready for the final step: Let it go!
Use a short sentence (also called a belief, affirmation, autosuggestion, or mantra) to help you through this step.
Your own words are always the best!
Here are some examples you can use:
1. It’s okay.
2. I let go.
3. It is the way it is.
4. I’m at peace with it.
5. I forgive myself.
6. I forgive him / her.
7. I accept it.
8. It’s good enough.
9. I let it rest.
Pay attention! This exercise is not a one-off.
You will have to repeat this often. It is an illusion that we suddenly start to feel everything differently. But you will definitely feel different when you practice with this!
There is no other option: repetition is the mother of every skill.
And lasting relaxation is the result of regular practice of letting go.
Relaxation becomes a habit if you keep practicing.
Keep in mind that sooner or later check comes up again and says:
“Hey, not too relaxed! Come on, we have so much to plan, check, change. You still have to worry, worry and think about the past. You still have to worry about everything! ”
Control is a habit – and habits keep coming back. Especially in the beginning. But keep practicing.
You will find that each layer you release in one area helps you in other areas as well. If you let go of control at work, you can also do that in your relationships. The gist is always the same, remember?
Let it goooooo!
Letting go is an art that you can refine throughout your life. There is no end point, we can always let go of something deeper.
To say it with Elsa from the animated film ‘Frozen’: Let it goooooo!
With every layer of tension you release, you gain access to a hidden layer of energy and well-being. Do you have any idea how many extra layers of energy and well-being are still waiting for you? Can you imagine how good you would feel learning to tap it?
Do you want to find out? Do you want more relaxation and more energy?
Go on research and make the best choice to take actions….