Have you lost yourself a little lately? Use these questions to find yourself.
Looking for yourself
We sometimes lose ourselves a bit. For example, it happened to me a few years ago when I became overwrought , but it happens to all of us from time to time:
- Life is so busy that we don’t realize we are drifting away from ourselves .
- We lose sight of what really makes us happy, and get carried away by things like status, money, or perfectionism .
- We become overstrained or end up in a burn-out, and have (in our opinion) to completely reinvent who we are .
- Someone might come into your life who won’t accept you for who you are, causing you to hide your unique qualities .
- You feel insecure and feel that you are not good enough , which makes you appear different from who you are.
It’s not nice – no.
But on the other hand, once you are in this situation you will have to deal with it. It can be stressful and miserable at times – but at the same time, these kinds of periods in your life present a huge opportunity for growth and renewal .
Why? Because it forces you to reflect. It forces you to look for yourself and find yourself step by step.
And that’s exactly what we’re going to start with today.
You don’t find the same person again
This is good to realize: when you go through a rough period you change . And when you then start looking for yourself again, you can get frustrated.
Why?
You are looking for the person you were before you went through this intense period. The one you were before you got divorced, who lost a loved one, burned out or became depressed.
It is important to realize that you will not find your old self again .
When you start looking for yourself you will end up with a new version of yourself . A little wiser, with new priorities, perhaps a new motivation – a new view of the world and life.
The old you is gone. You are now looking for a new you .
Sometimes that may feel difficult, because you just want to get back to “your old self” quickly. But at the same time it is a sign of growth. Growth is often uncomfortable – but when we look back, it almost always proves worth it.
I also wanted to quickly return to the Danny that I was before I became overwrought. But I soon learned that while my perfectionism dance itself felt comfortable because I was used to it – it also made me feel stressed and frustrated .
So going back to who I was turned out not to be an option. That old version of myself is gone.
So good to remember when looking for yourself.
Get started with the questions
Below I have listed a number of simple questions for you that can help you find yourself again .
Take a sheet of paper and go through the questions. If you prefer to type, that is also possible. Answer them honestly and comprehensively .
Take your time and calmly come back to it later. Let’s start!
1. What do you want?
Sounds like a simple question – but let it sink in.
- What does your ideal life look like?
- What does a day in this life look like? How do you want to spend your time?
- Which people do you want to be with?
- Where do you want to be?
- What would you like to experience more of in your life?
- What experiences do you want to have?
- What feelings do you want to experience?
- Etc.
Start writing and just throw it out. You can always adjust it later. What do you want? What would make you happy?
2. What do you not want (anymore)?
Time to get negative. What don’t you want?
- What do you want to experience less of in your life?
- What things cost you a lot of energy right now?
- What makes you unhappy now?
- What makes you negative?
Draw a picture of the things in your life that are dragging you down.
3. What are you good at?
What are your natural talents? What are you normally good at?
- What talents did you have as a child?
- What can you usually do better than others?
- What skills have you developed?
- Also consult with a number of loved ones and/or colleagues to better answer this question.
In general, we feel happier when we do more things that come naturally to us .
4. What do you like?
What interests you? What do you like?
- What makes you happy?
- What activities or subjects are you naturally drawn to?
- What things did you like to do as a child?
We lose ourselves when we lose sight of what brings us joy . For example, we lose ourselves in work, upbringing, money matters, etc. And we completely forget how happy we become from nature walks, an evening of dancing, jumping on trampolines or reading bad novels.
We sometimes forget that life can’t just be “useful” and productive . We should also play and do things purely because we like them .
5. What would you do if you could choose freely?
This is an exercise that will help you let go of all limitations. Instead of thinking within the framework of your current life, you let everything go.
What would you do with your life if you could choose completely free now?
- If time wasn’t an issue;
- If your location was free to choose;
- If you could decide for yourself which people you would like to live with;
- If you don’t have to think about money;
- Etc.
Really put yourself in this picture. Maybe now you think all you want to do is sleep on a luxury yacht somewhere in the Caribbean. But think further – what are you going to do with your life when you’re rested after a week of recovery?
What do you want to use your life for? How would you spend your time?
This exercise helps to break free from your limiting thoughts and to dare to dream .
Find yourself in small steps
By answering the above questions honestly and attentively, everything starts to move. While filling in, but also in the weeks that follow.
It may sound a bit too simple, but most people never bother to think about these simple questions.
They linger in the victim role and focus their attention on the struggle, without taking steps to lift themselves out of the situation.
And it is understandable. Because it’s comfortable in the victim role. Really looking for yourself is sometimes uncomfortable – but it’s worth it.
I hope to have shown you how you can get to answers faster so that you quickly experience more direction, meaning and satisfaction in your life.
The most important thing is that you just get started . Finding yourself takes time. And the sooner you start (seriously), the sooner you will feel strong and confident again. Success in finding your new you !!
