Have you ever been in a situation where someone else behaviour is affecting you, that person, or other people, and you don’t know how to approach them? Well, you are not alone.
Many of us have been in a similar position, however, gracious confrontation is not something we are great at. Often times, you may end up making the situation even worse while trying to help. Today, you learn five tips you can leverage to correct others gracefully and earn their respect. These tips are universal, you can use them whether you’re a parent, supervisor, or manager. Have a look:
Avoid Being Emotional
Leaving out emotions plays a critical role when you are correcting someone. That’s because how you convey your words is more important than what you are saying. More often, we use emotions to try to emphasize our disappointments. While it may seem like the right thing to do, it never yields positive results.
For instance, would you take a piece of advice from someone yelling at you or someone who’s calm and gentle? I believe the answer is obvious. We are all fragile and highly emotional, as such, when you try to correct someone in an emotional state you risk provoking a defensive response.
Use Observation
Observation is a less-known yet powerful means of correcting someone gently. It provides you with a great avenue for expressing your frustrations, especially to a person who doesn’t seem to note their ill behaviour. Observation is a great tool here because it’s free from judgments and accusations.
When making an observation about someone’s behaviours or actions, ensure you are unbiased. This will help you get a non-defensive response from the individual because often times, people are ready to defend their intentions. So, as a conversation starter, highlight your observation, and then pause to see the response from the individual. At this point, they’ll either accept or oppose your observation. And from there, you can determine the next cause of action.
Correct Privately
When correcting the individual, avoid doing it in front of their peers or your colleagues. That’s because it may lead to greater damage instead of evoking the positive response you were targeting. Not to mention, this approach may damage your respect and team member motivation.
When other colleagues or individual peers are present during the correction, they may lose respect for you. That’s because they’re more likely to understand the situation from their colleagues’ point of view and lower their respect for you. Also, correcting someone publicly demonstrates that you are insecure as a leader.
Sandwich the Rectification
This is a reliable approach when dealing with any situation. Whatever you are correcting, ensure you fit it between two positive remarks about the individual. With this take, the individual is less likely to perceive the correction as an attack and more likely to be grateful and change.
For example, you can begin by acknowledging their latest accomplishment. Thereafter, you can follow up with the correction. In this case, spell out their mistake and suggest how they should handle it. Lastly, you can reaffirm their value depending on the position they hold and indicate the impact of them changing their ways. While doing so, it’s important to note that correction is about facts and not opinions. Also, while correcting the individual, ensure you highlight the set standards and why they should be followed.
Acknowledge Corrected Behaviour
The last part of correcting others with grace is acknowledging the corrected behaviour. In this case, you can do this publicly if you want the change to be long-term. That’s because people love rewards, especially if they put an effort into something. Not getting the acknowledgment means the individual will feel like their effort was just a waste of time. Not to mention, they will resent you for only seeing their faults instead of their effort as well.
Hopefully, these tips will help you. And as we mentioned earlier, correcting people is not as simple as it may seem. It requires strategy and gentleness if you want to get the right results. And if you approach it well, the corrected person will experience joy, tenderness, and graciousness. Not to mention, their respect for you and that of their peers will increase abundantly. People will eternally change their ways not by how authoritative we are but by how gracious we are to them.
