In a time of disasters, wars and diametrically opposed opinions, it can be difficult to continue to believe in the goodness of people. Yet I would like to challenge you to look for the beautiful and good in people, especially now.
Focus on the positive
I admit, it is not always easy to continue to see the good in people. There are days when everyone is in a hurry and seems to have a short fuse.
When you then see in the news what people are doing to each other and to the Earth, your heart sinks.
At such a moment you can choose to become frustrated and bitter, but you can also focus on beautiful and positive things.
Even when humanity shows its ugliest side, there are people who spread love, hope and light. Heroes exist, you just can’t recognize them by a cape.
Naive or smart?
Some people think such a positive worldview is naive. Or they say you’re an ostrich with its head in the sand.
This is not right. There is a difference between fooling yourself and consciously choosing to focus on the good instead of the bad.
A positive outlook has many benefits:
You experience more happiness, love and pleasure in your life.
You feel connected to the people around you.
Optimistic people are often healthier and live longer.
It helps you achieve more in your life.
You inspire others to be happier and more positive too.
Keep faith in the future
People who have faith in the goodness of others have faith in the future . They dare to look ahead. These are the people who want to become the best version of themselves and thereby inspire others to do the same.
While fear, despair and doom-mongering actually cause paralysis. If you only see the bad in people, you are less likely to start a positive movement.
It is not without reason that dictators and extremist leaders like to spread fear and turn people against each other. That’s so oppressive.
The talent to help someone else
Do you doubt the goodness of people? Then consider that it has been scientifically proven that every person is born with a sense of justice and the talent to help others. You just have to develop that talent. Upbringing, culture and living conditions play a role in this.
It also matters how connected someone feels to the people around them. Ultimately, we are all connected. As family members, friends, colleagues, local residents, Dutch people and residents of this Earth.
How we behave, what we do and what we say affects the people around us. This quickly creates a domino effect. A smile or friendly gesture can make a big difference.
For example, I recently read a story of a woman who had just lost her father. When she dropped a container of yogurt from her hands at the supermarket checkout, she burst into tears.
Almost immediately there were people around her. One person put an arm around her shoulder, others helped with cleaning up, paying and packing the groceries. She never forgot this small gesture of compassion .
It shows that we are all essentially the same. Sooner or later we all face adversity, sadness and loss. When you have experienced for yourself how important humanity is at such a moment, you are more likely to do the same for someone else.
Look beyond the outside
You never know what someone is struggling with. A colleague who is unreasonably fierce may not have slept for weeks – because he is worried about a sick child, has money problems or is going through a divorce.
That doesn’t make him a bad person, it makes him human.
You have probably said something at a bad time that you didn’t mean – or that you later regretted.
Therefore, always look beyond the words someone says. See the person behind it. A person with fears, insecurities, doubts, pain, sadness, love and hope.
Instead of reacting angrily or irritated to that colleague, you can try to find out what is really going on.
This can be uncomfortable. You must be willing to go along with the other person for a while in the darkness. Don’t give unsolicited advice, but make room for uncomfortable emotions, listen and encourage.
By shining your light on the good in people, it also becomes visible to others. In this way you break the negative spiral and ensure more connection, understanding and progress in the world.
During the years that I took my philosophy classes through internet, I first came into contact with the Stoics for the first time. The image I got of them then was of dusty philosophers who had taken all the emotions out of their lives. Simply put: I thought it was robots.
Years later I came across them again, but not in a philosophical context. I heard top entrepreneurs from America talking about how stoicism had changed their lives.
“Are they talking about that same boring philosophy I had my classes on?” I wondered.
It turned out to be the same philosophy. Because inspiring world leaders were so enthusiastic about Stoicism, I started to delve into it after all. Unexpectedly opened a new world.
We are now a few years further and I see it as the best and most practical philosophy for a good life. (My personal opinion in which you don’t have to agree).
How come I—and you probably have too—had such a different view of Stoicism?
The misconception people have about Stoicism comes from the meaning of the word in our language. We use it as a description for someone who appears indifferent. We don’t mean that someone is actually a Stoic.
It is not surprising that the word has acquired this meaning. Stoics can indeed seem indifferent. Only if you delve a little more into this philosophy, you will discover that nothing about the image is right.
Indifferent as Stoics may seem, they are precisely people who place enormous value on life. They just make life so important that they don’t want to be guided by their emotions. They have just as many emotions as anyone else, but have learned how to deal with them effectively.
I am now of the opinion that everyone should delve into Stoicism. It would make every life and the world a lot more beautiful. But before I dive into the top three reasons why you should start with stoicism. First very briefly what stoicism actually is.
What is Stoicism?
Stoicism is a way of life that offers the wisdom and strength to deal with the challenges of life.
Stoicism originated in the heyday of Greek antiquity, in which several philosophical movements and schools arose. Stoicism was one of those schools, but it had two main differences from the others:
Stoicism was specifically about the good life and what it should look like.
Stoicism focuses on practice and not on thinking. Stoicism is also called a practical philosophy.
This unique approach made Stoicism popular among all layers of society. The most famous Stoics we know today from ancient times come mainly from Roman times. The reason for this is that the texts from that time have been preserved.
The most famous texts are from the diaries of Marcus Aurelius: “Meditations”. His work is popular to this day. Aurelius was one of the best emperors the Roman Empire has known and was an outspoken Stoic. He owes his enormous success largely to this philosophy.
The most important lesson from Stoicism is that we must distinguish between two things in life: (1) the parts of life that we can influence and (2) that we cannot influence.
Furthermore, the Stoics used many exercises to achieve a powerful mindset. For example, consciously thinking about fears in order to overcome them.
That is stoicism in a nutshell. But why should you learn more about this philosophy? I have three main reasons for this.
1. Stoicism is the practical philosophy for the good life that has proven itself for thousands of years
In all the years at school and study I have learned a lot to be able to function successfully in society. An example of some lessons that I unfortunately missed:
How to deal with setbacks
How to deal with emotions
How to maintain self-control
How to make the most of your days
In summary: I was groomed to be a good citizen, but I was not taught anything about how to shape a good life. I think that’s the biggest flaw in our school system of the past century.
If you don’t get it at school, you have roughly two other options where you can search for ‘the good life’:
Studying Philosophers and Their Works
Dive into the ‘self-help world’
Unfortunately, both options have major limitations, so you will not find the answer to a good life quickly. Life is a journey to discover and explore more and more.
If you have ever read the work of a philosopher, you will notice that it takes a study to understand it. The philosophical works deal with the important themes of life, but they offer no practical handles. It’s nice that a philosopher might have the answer, but if he can’t simply convey it, then this is of no use to you.
The self-help world, on the other hand, does offer concrete handles. Only you run into another problem there: what to believe about all those magical stories? You come across gurus who believe in golden mountains, but for which there is no evidence to support it.
Is there anything for ‘the good life’ that does not have these problems?
Yes, that’s where stoicism comes in. A philosophy that is completely devoted to the good life, is practically applicable and has proven itself for thousands of years (and nowadays even substantiated by science). A unique combination that you do not see in other philosophies or contemporary self-help.
For example, with contemporary self-help you can quickly ask yourself: does this person mainly want to earn money or actually help me further? And despite the good intentions of a ‘guru’, of course, this person also has to earn a living.
Stoicism does not suffer from this. The works of the Stoics are never intended for a hip course or for publication at all.
Take, for example, the work of Marcus Aurelius. He wrote all his texts to himself like a diary. It was never the idea that it would be read by you today. He certainly didn’t have to make any money with it. His sole purpose was to give advice to himself.
What makes Stoicism all the more suitable is that it has enormous similarities with the contemporary science of psychology. The exercises prescribed by the Stoics are reflected in what positive psychology prescribes. There is even direct research now showing that stoicism actually makes a big impact on your life.
Reason 2: Stoicism brings you an extremely powerful mindset
Imagine. You are the emperor of the whole world. You can literally do anything you want. Everything is arranged for you, every wish can come true. You can pursue any pleasure you want. The world is at your feet.
How long would you last to consistently make the right ones? How long can you put your human needs aside for the ‘great good’?
History shows that hardly anyone can last long. The books are full of examples of world leaders who sooner or later went wrong. The well-known saying is that success sooner or later goes to your head.
READ FURTHER
Yet there is an emperor of the past who did exactly that which seems impossible. Not for a short period, no, for 19 years. I mentioned his name before: Marcus Aurelius, one of the best and most respected emperors the Roman Empire has known.
Aurelius was trained from an early age to become emperor. He was literally primed to do the right thing and there was constant work on getting the right mindset. The philosophy he embraced before that was Stoicism.
The list of successful Stoics is now a lot longer. They all owe their success to their mindset, which they have acquired through the practice of Stoicism.
So when you start practicing Stoicism, you work towards an extremely powerful mindset. It ensures discipline and self-control. It prepares you for setbacks and helps you deal with them.
And if things go well for you and follow success after success, it helps you to remain humble and keep your feet on the ground.
Reason 3: Stoicism offers an alternative path to happiness in our consumer society
We live in a society in which the focus is on consumption. Success is measured by many in wealth and equipment.
I probably don’t have to explain to you that consuming does not make you permanently happy. Yes, you are overjoyed after buying your first car, but after a short time you are already in your head in your next car. Luck always seems to be in front of you.
Even though we know that things don’t make us happy, we still subconsciously believe in them. And if you lose that faith, there are plenty of ads that will convince you to give it another try.
Our entire society is focused on consumption, which is what makes our economy grow. Do we stop consuming? Then the economy will stop, which of course we won’t let happen.
Because our entire society is built on consumption, it is very difficult not to believe in it. You have to be very strong in your shoes if you don’t want to be caught by it.
Today there is a whole movement that opposes this: minimalism. It preaches that you must give up all your belongings. Everything that stands in the way of your happiness is what you buy.
“We have the solution!” say the minimalists. “Throw everything out the window!”
Or for the true admirers of minimalism: “throwing everything out the window? No, as a minimalist you don’t need a house and therefore you don’t need a window to throw out your stuff. If you want to be happy you have to live in nature!”
While minimalism offers a nice counterbalance to consuming, I think it brings new problems.
Minimalists are still working on ‘more’. They like to get more from less stuff. The less stuff the better. The focus is thus still on stuff (even if it is less) and maximizing the outcome (even if it is aimed at less and less).
Stoicism offers the solution for the shortcomings of minimalism. They look very similar from the outside. A Stoic and a minimalist both care little about stuff. Only where a minimalist focuses on stuff, a Stoic will not even be concerned with it. Having few things is a logical consequence for a Stoic and not a conscious choice.
A Stoic is only concerned with things that he influences. Stuff is not included. Thus spoke the famous Stoic Epictetus:
“Never say you lost something, but that you gave it back.”
What Epictetus meant by that is that we have no influence on physical things outside of ourselves. It therefore makes no sense to see us as the owner of something, but as someone who borrows it. That way, we’re always thankful that we have it now, because we don’t take it for granted. If we eventually lose it, it’s easier to let go.
By practicing stoicism you learn to deal with all the things around you much better. You learn to be grateful for what you have, because it is not self-evident that you have it.
Are you losing something? No problem, you’ll be grateful you were allowed to borrow it until then. It was never your property.
It does not matter to a Stoic how many things he has. A Stoic thinks it is much more important how he looks at the stuff. Only in this way can you become truly happy and live a good life.
I think stoicism is the path to happiness in our consumer society. Don’t resist it like a minimalist.
“You can’t take away the consumer society, so why worry so much about it?”, a Stoic would say.
Stoicism teaches you to deal with your own impulses and needs, so that you do not just make purchases. And it teaches you not to get attached to your stuff. This way you can function perfectly in the consumer society.
And now? How do I start with that stoicism?
Good question! That is exactly what Stoicism is all about: action!
My advice is to at least read a book on Stoicism. There are a number of writers who have summed up Stoicism very nicely. My top three:
The obstacle is the way Ryan Holiday
A Guide to the Good Life by William b. Irvine
The Little Book of Stoicism by Jonas Salzgeber
Read one of these three and you can get started right away. The power of Stoicism lies not so much in gaining more knowledge about it, but mainly in continuing to repeat the knowledge and exercises.
You don’t have to learn it, you have to learn to live it.
Like sports, stoicism is not something you do intensively for a few times and then never again. It’s something you work on on a regular basis. For example, every morning I read a piece based on stoicism in my morning routine. In this way I get a little better every day and I continue to adjust myself where necessary. You can surely give it a try.
A nice habit that you can immediately add to your daily life. Read a short piece every morning and apply stoicism in your life. Good luck!
Do you live in your head a lot? Don’t worry – you’re not alone. These 3 techniques will help you get out of your head quickly.
Get out of your head and live in the moment
The better you manage to live in the moment, the calmer your life becomes. Getting out of your head sometimes feels challenging, especially if you’re used to being lost in thought all day.
But don’t worry, there are all kinds of really simple things you can do to get out of your head quickly.
We don’t need to make it harder (or more spiritual) than it needs to be. These are three effective and ridiculously simple techniques for getting out of your head quickly with little effort.
1. Doing nothing for a few minutes
This is the most difficult exercise and at the same time the most interesting.
Turn off distractions (phone on do not disturb , laptop closed, TV off) and sit somewhere. Then set a timer of, for example, five minutes (you can build it up slowly).
What you’re going to do now is nothing .
Do not meditate . Don’t repeat the mantra. Don’t think or plan. Don’t even adjust your breathing. Just being in space and observing what happens.
What you will notice is that everything happens after a few seconds. Mainly in your head. The more restless you are in your upstairs room right now, the more aggressive the thoughts will become.
You will probably see these kinds of thoughts fluttering around:
This is boring.
I do not want this.
This is painful.
This is uncomfortable.
I want to do something fun.
I want distraction.
Next, you will find that your attention is sucked back into your head:
“I’m hungry. What are we going to eat tonight? I still have some broccoli. What can I do with that? I’m not in the mood for curry. But I don’t feel like shopping either. I also have to think about the groceries for the party next week. How many people will come? I wonder how Maaike is. Maybe I should text her. Yes, I’m going to app. Oh no, I was doing that exercise. Oh shit, I’m in my head again. Okay.”
And you’re back in the moment. Welcome!
Doing nothing is extremely challenging . And by experiencing that regularly, you become much more aware of the noise in your head. This quickly makes it easier to observe your thoughts and live in your head less often.
2. Focus your attention on something very physical
Sometimes we are struck by a thought attack . You get stuck in a complicated vortex of thoughts, and it feels impossible to get out of your head.
Moments like these often arise when you’re trying to sleep, when your brain prefers to deal with all the worries and fears about the future.
What can you do to get out of your head at times like this? I often use this trick when I’m in bed: I shift my attention to the feel of the sheets on my skin .
Shifting your attention to a physical sensation can help you get out of your head quickly and effectively. Perfect for those times when you seem stuck in a spiral of negativity.
How it works? Simple: I admit that I am stuck in a spiral of thoughts. I decide to turn my attention to the sensation of the sheets on my skin. For example, I move my arm or legs, and observe very closely how this feels. Then, when I get sucked into my head again (and I notice this), I return my attention to the sheets.
After a few times my brain starts to calm down and I manage to get out of my head and fall asleep.
You can also do this in other ways:
The feeling of your feet on the ground.
The sensation of your buttocks pressing against the seat, or your back against the backrest.
The feeling of ‘heaviness’, experiencing how the earth pulls your body towards itself.
Rub your hands over your book.
The feeling of running water over your back or hands.
The sharper you focus, the better it will be to get out of your head. The more often you do it, the easier it becomes to stay out of your mind.
3. Use your body
This technique works perfectly if, for example, you’ve been working on your head all day. You can’t seem to leave work at work, or you find yourself just lingering on recurring thoughts.
In such a case, use your body to get out of your head . Not by focusing on one sensation as above, but above all by letting the movement dominate .
For example, many people see running as a form of meditation because it helps them get out of their heads. Exercise, hiking, biking, and yoga are great ways to get out of your head. But also active play – such as frolicking, playing tag, playing football or throwing – helps you to get out of your head.
In addition, other physical activities are very effective. Have you been in your head all afternoon? Go sweep the garden, clean up the room, grab the vacuum cleaner, take away the empty bottles or scrub the kitchen. Simple, physical activities help you get out of your head quickly and easily.
There is no relationship completely free of conflict. Even two people who love each other a lot and who normally get along are likely to face problems at some point and feel suddenly frustrated, angry, or upset. So, what can you do when you feel frustrated with your partner, whether it’s a choice they made, a problem you have encountered, or a disagreement.
1. Talk, talk, talk
The advice to talk it out is definitely popular, but that’s for a good reason. Communication is the key to a good relationship and appears especially important when you feel frustrated. While one part of you might want to keep quiet and not rock the boat, frustration tends to build up or come back later.
Don’t let things fester, instead, let your partner know when something bugs you and what can be done about it. Perhaps not all things will be fixed entirely, but finding a compromise can allow you to overcome this frustration. You will feel heard, at the least.
2. Give it a bit of time
Sometimes, we get angry or frustrated over small things. We might feel a bit too upset to address the situation adequately. When you feel overwhelmed with emotion, you might want to take a step back and let the situation cool down before talking about it or trying to fix it.
It can be hard to take another perspective or consider another person when you are angry or upset. Instead, give it some time and address it once your emotions get less intense.
3. Remind yourself of the good things
A small detail can be blown up to feel huge and very important. But try to focus your attention on everything that you love about your partner. It’s more important that they make you feel good, that they respect you and treat you well, that they are supportive, and so on.
Often, this can help you gain a bit more perspective and recognize that even if there is a conflict of opinions, it’s normal and that it doesn’t have to be a deal-breaker. Focus on the good things to quell your frustration.
4. Dig to the roots
Sometimes, the frustration you feel can have specific roots. Maybe what’s happening reminds you of a bad situation in your past or the behavior of an ex. Maybe you are reacting with a lot of anger because of a specific interpretation. Consider the source of your frustration and whether it has to do more with the current situation or with something else that is affecting your perception and judgment.
Sometimes, it will be what’s happening, and you can focus on the true source of frustration. But other times, you might need to dig into yourself and your past to understand why you feel what you feel.
5. Avoid blame, focus on the feelings
It can be tempting to level your frustration at your partner, but it might not always be the most constructive solution. Focus on communicating your feelings – anger, anxiety, frustration, sadness, and so on. Don’t blame your partner, instead, describe how you feel about the situation and what would help you feel better.
A constructive approach can help you resolve the frustration you feel and strengthen your relationship with your partner.
6. Take care of yourself before addressing the problem
Often, our frustration builds up because we are experiencing things that contribute to it, such as exhaustion, hunger, sleep deprivation, or more.
Before you give in, make sure you take care of yourself. Have a snack or a drink, take a nap, rest, give yourself a break. Sometimes, once you do, whatever frustrates you will suddenly feel a lot smaller and less important. Take a quick pause and relax before going to address the problem, and you’re more likely to do it constructively.
7. Let it go
If something truly bothers you and has an impact on your life, you might want to try and fix it. You should not let the big things, like feeling neglected or an action that truly upset you, go. But if you are frustrated by small things that don’t matter on the grand scale of things, you might consider letting it go.
Don’t feel like everything should be perfect – everyone has their little quirks and traits that might not agree with you. You won’t be able to get everything to change, nor should you expect that. If something is just a bit annoying, maybe it’s easier to let go of your frustration and focus on more significant issues.
Due to the corona crisis, many young leaders are struggling with a sense of unrest. In this blog I like to share with you some very important point you can apply in your daily routine to the current challenges.
With a good mindset this will surely help you to travel more
working miles.
The following points are very handy for young leaders but also for everyone who is leading and is in the plan to start leading. Remember that we are all from diverse ideas and sectors. We are all in a volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous world which is changing rapidly. After all, we are not alone in this struggle, and with this information you will get a strong sense of freedom of choice in your life, whatever the situation you are facing.
1: Make a distinction between what you do or do not control
At any time of the day, there are an infinite number of things that are out of your control, at the same time there are things that you do have control over. How well can you make a distinction here? How often do you ask yourself this question? And where do you invest all your attention, life force and energy in? Nowadays it is too easy to get distracted by all the things you have no control over, while you could have used the 24 hours of the day for anything you could have made a positive difference: for yourself, your family, teams , community and everything else that is dear to you.
2: Invest in, and be careful with your buffer of positivity
How easy or difficult do you make it for yourself to build up a buffer of positivity to better deal with the inevitable setbacks in life? How well do you know what gives you a positive kick in life, not because it was talked about by others, but because you really feel it yourself? When you hear a negative message, how do you prevent it from seeming unnecessarily worse than it actually is? How critically do you assess your initial interpretation of the topic (personal or impersonal), the magnitude of the problem (large or small), and the temporality (long or short)? And when everything seems to go wrong, how well do you manage to build up your buffer with a feeling of gratitude for moments from the past?
3: Focus on talents that energize you
There are some skills you are not good at, and there are skills that you are better at. There are skills that do not energize you, and there are skills that do energize you. How well do you know yourself in this regard? How can you use your talented people more often per week, and make your environment aware so that you don’t question skills that cost you energy? Which hidden talents that give you energy would you like to develop further at work and beyond?
4: Care about yourself and others
How do others know that you are there for them, especially in difficult times? When someone shares a problem, do you only address the words the other person is saying, or do you also pay attention to the underlying emotional message (s)? How well can you place these feelings in the context of the other person’s life? How do you ensure that you keep your attention with the other person and not let the conversation be hijacked by yourself or others who have had a similar experience? How do you let yourself experience that you are not alone and that there are others who care about you?
5: Find meaning in everyday moments
From building something important for society to preventing
something unwanted from private, how well can you see every moment of the day
you are contributing? “Those who have a why have
can (almost) any how endure “has the same
physical act another inner experience entail depend on the meaning can you give
it Unlike simple times have difficult moments often extra chances meaning to
find.: courage, patience, wisdom, compassion, and other personal qualities can
only grow stronger when tested
6: Celebrate successes with every step
In uncertain times, the finish line is not always in sight, and there is a lack of prospect of improvement in the short term. Plans change, and a lot of (knowledge) work is not immediately visible or tangible. In addition, if the elements of the previous lessons are missing, it can be easy to lose the motivation to continue. That is why it is extra important to clarify and celebrate every step forward. This can be done with others or alone. This can be planned or spontaneous. This can be big or small. Looking back at the week, it is quite clear what went wrong, but how often do you also think about what did work? What went easier than expected? And how do you set the bar for success at the right height, so that it is high enough to mean something, but also accessible enough to experience?
Colleagues who are always late, decisions taken from above: we all have to deal with circumstances at work that we seem to have no influence on. Please as a blogger allow me to explain how to handle this properly. You can do it your way as well.
There is a saying: Change what you cannot accept and accept what you cannot change . That all sounds great, but how do you do that now, accept something that you cannot change? If we could do this easily, we would have done it for a long time.
Management assistants in particular often feel very involved in their work. As a result, they have difficulty accepting circumstances beyond their control. Involvement is a personal value, but it can also be a core value, and therefore comes from within.
We also have a heart for the business. If, for example, we see that certain things are happening that are detrimental to the clients or the quality of our work and we have no influence on this, then it is difficult to accept this.
Involvement is therefore a beautiful characteristic, but it is precisely because of this characteristic that we have extra difficulty dealing with circumstances at work that we have no influence on.
Yet there is a way in which we can deal with such circumstances at work.
Focus on what is possible
Take a look at what is possible and therefore on which part of the circumstance we do have influence. On which part or parts of the problem, the situation or the circumstance do we have any influence? Whatever the circumstances are, there is almost always something that we do have influence on.
Let me give an example. Suppose there is a threat of dismissal for you. Whether or not we ultimately get fired, we have no influence on that. But what we do influence is the execution of our work. If we do that well, the chance is always slightly greater that we can stay than if we throw the cap at it. But also by requesting a meeting with our supervisor and indicating that we are prepared to follow courses or training, or that we are open to any other position. At the same time, we can look around for another job in the meantime.
By focusing on what we do influence, we opt for proactive action instead of reactive action. As a result, we no longer feel like a victim, because we take control and responsibility for what we do have influence on.
Start the conversation
But what about the behavior of, for example, a colleague? Suppose a colleague arrives late for work every morning. Whether this colleague arrives at work on time or not, we have no influence on that. However, what we can do is start a conversation about this. Then we can first state what the facts are, namely that we have noticed that he / she regularly comes late in the morning. We can then indicate that we are affected by this and ask how we can deal with this in the future.
By starting a conversation, we regain control and act proactively. If we really listen to this colleague, it may just be that we are told what the reason is for being late. Then we can talk about possible solutions, such as other working hours. If we then work this out together, this can be presented to our supervisor. By speaking out and entering into a conversation, we do have an influence on the behavior of others.
Decisions from above
But what if it concerns something definitive, such as a decision that has already been taken by higher authorities? Even then we can always enter into a conversation with the relevant people. In this case, therefore, with the management or the board. Then we can indicate that we think it is a shame that these decisions were taken from above, without being involved in this. That we also have ideas about this and that we think it is a shame that this has not been requested, and that these ideas could therefore not be included in the decision-making process.
That does not mean that something will actually be done with it, but we have at least given our opinion on this. We always have an influence on what we say and against whom. So also in this case we take control and act proactively by speaking.
Just think of the consequences if we don’t do this. Suppose we act and think reactively: the decision has already been made. What if we do not speak out against the right people? There is a good chance that we will then express our dissatisfaction with the wrong people. Because if we have something high, we still want to get rid of it. Then we can speak better to the right people, even though this is the top of the organization, for example.
Let go in mini steps
If we have done everything about the things that we can influence, how do we let go of the things that we really have no influence on?
By constantly looking at how we can let go of something 1 percent. By looking at what we need to be able to let go of this a little bit. A mini step. What we focus our attention on is growing. If we focus on how we can let go of something a little, it will become easier and easier for us.
Finally the following. It is not what we want to hear, but often we can learn from circumstances that are not going well. Just think of previous experiences in your life that you have not experienced as pleasant. You have probably learned a lot from this. As a result, we often know what we no longer want.
If every day or moment you are able to reflect in your very own surroundings you can learn a lot more.Not difficult right.
Why do so many beginners fail at their online businesses? And what can you do to avoid it happening to you? In this article, we’ll address this problem directly – and with a good dose of common sense!
Having your own online business seems like a great idea, doesn’t it?
You sit down at your computer, come up with a product or service idea, and start marketing it all over the world… without even getting up from your chair. Everything happens virtually on your website.
And some of the people you reach through your site will buy your product, sign up to your mailing list, get to know you and your business better, and stay on as loyal customers and repeat buyers.
Over time you will build a mutually beneficial relationship in a friendly, low-key, inexpensive way. By playing your cards right, you can even steadily build it into a big business that serves large crowds of clients, and pulls in huge profits.
Wouldn’t it be great if that was how things actually worked?
Well, if you’ve actually tried to build an online business, then you know it’s not like that at all. In fact, if you’ve tried it out, then you know that it can actually be more challenging than building a brick-and-mortar business in the “real world”.
Why is this?
Well, for starters, it’s this way because almost everybody else is dreaming about this ‘ideal fantasy’ of running an online business from their bedrooms in their pyjamas – and growing rich automatically. And the group of ‘shovel sellers’ who equip these ‘pioneers’ and cheer them on the way to their ‘Gold Rush’ aren’t exactly being honest about how difficult it is to really make sales online.
But there’s another reason, one that’s much more important. And it has to do with the important point about how to focus better.
Answer this question: Have you ever visited the average business website? You know the kind I’m talking about. It’s fairly decent, with a long one-page sales letter making the same, tired, predictable pitch for a range of products that are all pretty dull and boring.
But every once in a while, there’s an exciting new one.
It is catchy, snazzy, even bizarre, and so it grabs you by the eyeball, sucks you in, and makes you eager to buy whatever it is they’re selling. That’s the kind of business and product that everyone wants to build and own.
And guess what? All the people try to blindly duplicate it. But they’re doing it wrong, and so they don’t gain any value from their attempt.
They pretend to study and derive from the winning model, but end up copying and cloning only the least important things. Worse, by trying them out at the same time, they are creating a shoddy version of the winning website – and don’t get even a fraction of the selling power of the ‘original’ website.
It Doesn’t Have To Be This Way
Once you decide to get this part of your business organized and streamlined, you must learn how to focus better.
One day, a new friend was explaining his ‘system’ for building an auto-pilot web-based income stream. At his house, he demonstrated the model and it was among the most simple, elegant things ever. Everything hummed along like a machine.
He described how he looked at different niche markets, how he identified potential hot-selling products in each, and how he built simple processes that made dozens of sales every day.
It was hard to not admire his genius. But the real miracle of his system wasn’t the ‘machine’… it was the simplicity of his process. Anyone seeing it would realize that online selling could work if this simplicity could be modeled and adopted.
Like any online business, some things worked well – while others fell flat. Slowly, steadily, this entrepreneur had developed systematic approaches to getting all the components integrated into a reproducible and sustainable sequence of steps.
A new world was open – and taking advantage of it gave this business owner a headstart over anybody else. Following the same principles can boost your chances of success at business, or indeed anything else.
To be successful, you need to understand two KEY things:
You must not do what everyone else is doing
You must find a system that works, and stick with it
And that’s the key. Especially the second part. Because that what creates such a massive difference in your level of success as compared with anyone else. When you work with more focus on your business, you’ll win.
Also, you must find the right things to focus on. But that’s easier. The difficult part is to discipline yourself to focus better on whatever you are doing.
Without it, none of this would have worked. And anyone can do it, if only you maintain your focus! Far too many people expect to throw up a website, do nothing much else, and sit back and reap profits immediately. That won’t happen.
On the other hand, if you carry out many small, inexpensive tests, and follow through on your action plan based on your results that expand what works (and drops what doesn’t), you’ll soon experience massive success in what you do.
Why then do we so lack focus? Why do we reach out eagerly for the latest, newest, flashiest stuff – and then not put it to good use? Why do we not work on a system that works, but instead prefer to waste time and effort trying to reinvent the wheel?
This is what Steve Jobs had to say about the importance of learning how to focus. The CEO of Apple Inc. was giving members of an indie record label a private presentation about the iTunes Music Store. People kept raising their hand to ask, “Does it do [x]?”, “Do you plan to add [y]?”.
Do you find that your life is loaded up with pressure? Does it appear as though there is continually something happening that includes your whole consideration, and in this way depletes positive or high-vibrational vitality?
As our general public develops increasingly perplexing, discovering genuine inward harmony turns out to be progressively similar to attempting to discover a desert garden in the desert. So I figured it may be useful to impart to you a portion of the techniques that I use in my life to encounter internal harmony and disengage from my feverish day by day schedule.
Acknowledge what is
There is just so much we can influence. What we can’t change, what we can’t impact, require not concern us. What I have seen with such a significant number of individuals is that they center and wait around things they have no power over. The point here is the reason stress over something that all the stressing on the planet won’t change? Why care about what other individuals consider us when we’re not in any case beyond any doubt what it is they are really considering?
Calming the brain
Contemplation is incredible method for calming the brain and it’s an imperative movement that can transform you. In any case, not every person needs to contemplate or realizes how to do it. Thinking for only 10 minutes daily can have a tremendous effect in all parts of your life. In the event that you have a great deal at the forefront of your thoughts and feel as though your contemplations are making you insane, reflection can enable you to discover inward harmony. To calm the mind basically close everything, sit back, close your eyes and clear your brain of each and every idea. Concentrate on the void. You will be astounded what a minor 10 minutes of calming the brain can do to turn things around for you.
Invest energy in nature
We invest so much energy kept in structures either at work or at home that we have overlooked where we originated from. It is normal for us to be in nature, and this is the reason it feels so great and it is so serene when you go out for a stroll in a recreation center, cycle on a trail in the woodland or stand watching the waves come in at the shoreline. Viewing is stillness, watching nature sustains us. We normally adjust to the musicality of the seasons and the vibration of mother earth.
Get familiar with the intensity of a grin
At whatever point you chuckle or grin, something occurs on a substance level to improve you feel, and stress and pessimism are kept from entering your mind. Giggling yoga is a splendid instrument to use as an example intrude.
A basic grin can have such an effect. You rapidly understand that harmony discovers its direction substantially more effectively to you when you grin and trifle with yourself.
See the Master plan
We are so devoured inside our very own issues that we can never again observe the wood from the trees. It’s useful to remind ourselves how enormous the world is. Read up about some different nations, societies or religions. Know that the world does not spin around your issues. On catching wind of a torrent or a seismic tremor murdering a great many individuals it puts my little considerations and stresses into point of view. My issues aren’t generally “issues”. Looking past ourselves is imperative in finding internal harmony.
Care about others, however don’t turn into a rescuer
Inward harmony is elusive while acting naturally expended and just stressing over your very own requirements and needs. When you start to truly think about other individuals, supernatural occurrences occur. Be that as it may, be sympathetic, not humane.
Sympathy is placing yourself in another person’s shoes and regarding them as you would wish to be dealt with. It carries with it endless persistence and elegance. Sympathy can without much of a stretch transform into rescuer conduct; it’s deceptive and can prompt attempting to fix somebody, which separated from being the tallness of presumption, can likewise occupy you from your very own internal harmony.
A demonstration of irregular thoughtfulness and altruism enables you to facilitate your way towards internal harmony.
Grasp trust
Expectation is the thing that helps your life. With expectation you generally have a way towards inward harmony. At whatever point we get worried and overpowered inside our own life, we overlook that trust. We overlook that the sun dependably sparkles following a stormy day, and this is just a hindrance. With expectation, I realize that whatever is apparently awful is just brief and that soon enough, things will be simply incredible. This lifts off the majority of that antagonism and gross vibrational vitality from my general existence, and I feel in order right away.
Find your convictions, qualities and gauges
I don’t support one conviction framework over another, so whatever it is that you put stock in, grasp it with your whole existence. Be inside your confidence/conviction 100 percent and inward harmony will discover its way into your heart. We may all differ on one another’s conviction framework, and that is alright. Nonetheless, one thing we have to concur on is that having a strong, sound confidence is the most ideal approach to fabricate a still, small voice that guides us towards internal harmony and astuteness. Research has demonstrated that individuals who are profoundly given to their confidence have a higher future and are more averse to have ailments, for example, malignant growth. This is on the grounds that they encounter increasingly internal harmony, which is critical in the event that you need to enhance a mind-blowing nature.
Focus on yourself
One thing that gives us much worry in life is the way that we generally stress over not having every one of the appropriate responses. Simply tolerating that you don’t know everything and that you are available to unending learning is a gigantic advance to take towards accomplishing internal harmony. I discover extraordinary satisfaction in adapting a wide range of things, and simply staying alert that I am developing as an individual every single day gives me incredible sentiments of internal harmony. Acknowledge that life is one major adventure of ceaseless learning and you will get yourself closer to encountering genuine internal harmony.
Live in the at this very moment
More often than not, what we stress over is identifying with something either before, or something that hasn’t occurred. Living in the at this very moment eradicates every such idea. Why stress over something in the past that we can’t change? Why stress over something that we are not in any case beyond any doubt will occur or not?
Relax
Breathing is the main capacity in the human body that is done either totally unwittingly or totally intentionally. It very well may be a deliberate or automatic act and along these lines it is administered by two particular arrangements of muscles and nerves, contingent upon which mode is being used – the automatic nerves and muscles or the willful.
Each arrangement of muscles and nerves can completely drive and deal with the framework. In this way the breath has this incredible, exceptional trademark that empowers it to influence the automatic sensory system. It is the main capacity in the human body that has this capacity.
I am certain that this article can enable you to locate your internal harmony.
You undoubtedly have thousands of future plans in your head. About the things you still have to do, the goalsyou want to achieve and the people you want to share your life with. But sometimes it’s true that you do not have the time to do everything … or maybe this just seems like that. Have you ever thought that you are only wasting your time and life?
It may be that you invest your time in things that are not necessary or that require too much of your time without you realizing this. Do you really not have enough time or do you simply spend your time on things that lead nowhere? Read on and find out.
“The past has fled, that what will come is absent, but the present is yours.”
Arabian saying-
1. You invest your time in something that yields nothing
You need moments where you allow yourself some distraction and where you release yourself from your professional responsibilities. However, if you spend most of your time on “distraction,” you will eventually feel like you have not done anything all day. Therefore ensure a balance between work and distraction. Choose activities that really mean something and that you have something to offer and reduce activities that do not.
Activities that give you the feeling that you are wasting your life include excessive alcohol use, hours in front of the television and always immersing yourself in social media. If you want to be with your friends, then look for an alternative. For example, go camping or cook together and simply spend time together. Choose activities that will help you improve your relationships and lead to the life you want.
2. You are unable to improve your skills
People are programmed to learn new things. One way to waste your life is by not giving yourself the chance to learn and grow as much as possible . Do you remember what we said about investing your time in activities that do not give you anything? Well, an excellent alternative is to use that time for something constructive, such as doing thinking games or teaching yourself a new skill.
Put your brain to work and challenge yourself as much as possible. Doing games like crossword puzzles and sodoku will stimulate your brain and it will not be long before you are addicted to the mental challenge they offer you. Another great alternative to help your mind develop is by learning new skills, from learning to play an instrument to learning a new language. Do you prefer something that costs less effort? Then simply read a book.
“Learning how to learn is the most important skill for education and this should be explained during the very first lessons.”
-John Seymour-
3. You have negative conversations
Negative conversations are terrible time wasted. And if you yourself are the subject of the negative conversation, then this is even worse. Keep in mind that what you think becomes reality. Are you aware of what you say every time you lose out in negativity during a conversation or during your daily activities? Or how nice you are against yourself? When you are faced with a challenge and have already given up in your mind, failure is almost inevitable.
Of course it is not easy to break this habit, because we are not necessarily aware that we have this habit at all. What you have to do is to keep an eye on what you are saying and that way you will gradually change the message you send out. Also distracting and engaging your thoughts will help you to reduce those negative messages.
4. You do not make plans for the future
How do you see yourself in ten years? What would you like to be concerned with at this point in your life? With what tools do you see yourself doing this? Although you certainly should not forget to live in the present moment , the future should not be forgotten. Setting goals motivates you to move on and helps you avoid wasting your life and passing it away meaninglessly. Goals allow you to carve out a path and make you feel as if there is something you are working towards to improve and develop yourself.
“The future has many names. He is unreachable for the weak. He is unknown to the anxious. He is an opportunity for the brave. “
-Victor Hugo-
Many people almost live like zombies. They wake up in the morning, eat something, go to work and return home in the evening. Every day is the same and when they finally make time to reflect on their lives, they feel empty. This happens because they do not set goals for themselves.
Focus on one or two important goals and then on some less important ones . How about joining the Iron man in 2030? This triathlon provides even the best athletes with a challenge and is an admirable goal for anyone. Once you have established the larger goal for yourself, you can focus on less important short-term goals. This year you will complete a half marathon and next year a complete and so on.
Do not even give yourself the chance to waste your life. Take advantage of everything around you so that you can grow and improve. The best thing you can do is live life to the fullest; you can never change the past.
